Seven Golden Rules of Friendship

Do you know someone who is generally well liked, but seem to not have any extraordinary looks or talents? Chances are, they (whether subconsciously or intentionally) follow the following seven rules.

One. Don't talk about negatively about other people. If someone hears you talk negatively about someone else, she's going to wonder what you say about her behind her back. People will generally trust you more if you don't talk negatively about others.

Two. Don't divulge others' secrets. It may seem like a sign of trust and friendship to tell someone a secret you heard. But really, it just shows that you are a gossip at the best, and at worst it makes people reluctant to tell you anything important, for fear that you will talk about it freely. But if you make a point of never revealing others' secrets, people will confide in you.

Three. Make people feel wanted. Don't always wait for someone else to initiate contact. Rather take the initiative to call them first. Think about how good it feels to receive a phone call. When you call someone else, they associate this positive feeling with you!

Four. Be willing to change your positions and convictions. At the same time, make sure you honestly believe in what you say. When someone has the same political beliefs as me, I think that maybe we could get along. But when someone changes their political beliefs after hearing the facts, I respect them more for being intelligent and humble enough to admit that they were wrong, and to openly change their position.

Five. Don't brag. Talking modestly about your accomplishments in an appropriate situation is acceptable. However, nobody likes a braggart. Sometimes, it may seem like no one acknowledges or appreciates your accomplishments, but they do recognize them, whether or not they say anything about it. Which leads to the next rule...

Six. Pay compliments freely. Whenever you congratulate someone, or give them a compliment, they experience a positive feeling, which they will (once again) associate with you.

Seven. (This is mainly for our younger readers.) No matter how you act around your friends, act like an angel around their parents. Never talk about anything even slightly risque, and be as polite as possible, no matter what. This will encourage your friends to invite you to do things with their families, because they know you won't do anything to embarrass them. I personally saw this one work when a relatively popular kid whom I recently befriended invited me to go to Disney with his family. When I asked him why he invited me, rather than one of his more established friends, he said I was the only person he could trust not to say anything dirty around his younger sister and parents.

If you can follow these seven rules, you should have no problem making new friendships, and strengthening old ones. They may not all seem important, but all seven are more powerful than you may think.

Posted by PU on Sunday, August 19, 2007 at 5:58 PM Post a Comment